You're always a day away

I'm waiting for the 'JK' to form out of this starless sky. I'm holding out for the surprise party that all this lying has been covering up. I'm hoping for a light at the end of this dark incessant tunnel.
I know better than this. But I'm afraid you don't.

This is where i have been. I can't put it into words, i can't even explain it to myself. But it's there, it's here, it's this. I should be able to look myself in the eyes. I want to see your eyes, your smile, your warm, comfortable smile.

But i guess thats still too much to ask. So i'm staying strong for tomorrow, that faithful tomorrow.

Importance.

Whatever is important to me will takes its place.

It will be number one, it will be my reason, it will be my explanation.

Today, importance takes its form in:

sunlight, running barefoot on grass, the intoxicating smell of paint, dancing shamelessly, tears bursting into butterflies, not forgetting where you came from, awkward references to crack a smile, songs on repeat for more than an hour, general lowering of madness, and regretlessly living.

I was off to drink you away

Dear %(&$@#,

It's been 4 days, 96 hours, 5,760 minutes. I haven't stepped out of my house, eaten, slept. I don't answer the phone, the door, the birds. Blood and dirt line the couch, the floor, the walls. All that's left are my pictures, your letters, our memories.

Hello,

8:20 on Friday June 25th, 2010, I'm all yours.

"By living deeply in the present moment we can understand the past better & prepare for a better future." -Thich Nhat Hanh

Selfish Discontentment

A lot of people around here have lost the white in their eyes.

My heart is melting.

My heart is breaking.

My eyes are soaking.

My thoughts are showing.

My strings are being strummed.

My words are getting louder.

My body is being numbed.

I'd love to take a powder.

Reflections and Reality

It was like looking in the mirror for the first time. I noticed my face lacked percise symmetry, and my nose tilted, ever so slighty, to the left. Unsure what to do next, i slowly widened my eyes and saw every red line that tainted the white surface. The big brown circles in the middle moved in a methodic manner, tracing the perimeter. It was as if i was watching somebody's life flash before their eyes. There was a longing to help them. There was a desprate strive to do whatever i could to help. She moved when I moved, she spoke when i spoke. She did what i wanted to do myself. She was prettier than me. When i was happy, she smiled. When i was sad, she shed a tear or two. When i thought of him, she sulked. When i was tired, she slept. My mind's images were shadowed by her brush strokes. My words were echoed through her lips. We walked down the street. We held hands, an endless game of red rover against the whole world. We were ready, we were prepared. The clock struck 4. The clock struck 5. Our feet moved like clockwork along the sidewalks, pathways and stairs. All the way home, all the way home. Home was a building, home had an address. Now, home is a journey, home is whereever you're headed. Home is where you'll recognize the face in the glass and the lips that touch your forehead. This isnt a blur, this isnt a coincidence. This is clarity, peace and familiarity.

Are you for real?

You sing like a simple love song. You scream like a restless gong.

You resemble the blinding sunlight. Your colder than the burial site.

You move like the rustled lake. You burry me in crashing waves.

You taste like soft angel food cake, made by tortured, angry slaves.

Ghost Riders In The Sky

I need that hum on my lips and the beat on my feet.

I need a soundtrack to my nights, full of summer's heat.

I want that book in my hand and the sun in my eyes.

I want to talk to your soul, do no more than improvise.

I'm looking for the guys with a hint of surprise.

I'm looking for the disquised, the hidden and incised.

We panic in a peW

We wont stop until somebody calls the cops

The past few months taught me a lot.

Don't sleep in.

Don't save money. You could die tomorrow.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Don't reject knowledge.

Dream lazily.

Cats like anything that moves.

Write down everything.

Change is everywhere.

Don't please them.

Tuned guitars make me uncomfortable.

Scars fade fast.

Do it for the living.

And do it for the dead.

Do it for the monsters under your bed.

Don't be sad over something that never made you happy.

Listen to music that reflects everything you want to be.

Don't settle.

Paint mindlessly.

Nothing is permanent.

Everything can be fixed.

Some things should be left unsaid.

It's Easy.

After all,

wasn't this what the summer is meant for?

Genesis 1:1

We painted rainbows after the storm,

We threw lights into the night sky,

We kept the sun burning with the power in our eyes.

We gave them all names,

We taught them how to dance,

We raised the children until they could make it on their own.

We brought green from the dirt,

We pulled it into beautiful colors,

We picked the flowers after they were finished.

We made it all,

We've done it all,

This world we've made will never fall.

Something Isn't Right (reposted)

Continuation of Beginnings

We are augmented with many beginnings. we are reduced to nothing with but one end. if we don't take these chances to start over for what they are, a gift. we don't deserve them and we can't earn them. -Rachel

Through these experiences we may appear nonchalant. Behind it all only our young souls know better than that colorful smile. It's the one that hides the past, present, and feared future, the one that shines even when our feelings are colorless. So let's take these gifts and use them to the best of our flourishing abilities rather than allowing them to wash away. -Jackie

Our imaginations are endless. Our fears are just the same.
Beauty is what graces us. Creativity is what we possess.
But the utmost importance of the matter; behind the smiles lies the truth.
Our bending minds, our wanting hearts.
Come stay a while, they're not hard to find.
Show us your needs, we'll teach you to get through.
Show us your compassion, we'll let you teach us a little too.
We are who we are, on the inside and out
Love and happiness is what were about. -Bre

Fourfold Death

There's something comforting about scars with a story,

reminicing on your glory.

There's something frightening about lies without justification,

seeing the lack of sure salvation.

There's nothing wrong with aimless trips to sunlight,

the use of our undivided right.

There's a time when we have to walk away,

burn our past in the worlds largest ashtray.

lame?

Cayenne sleeping on my lap,

staying in my sweatshirts.

I've been listening to the same playlist for hours now.

I Want To Hold Your Hand - Beatles

Overdue - The Get Up Kids

Nicest Thing - Kate Nash

Hold - Saves the Day

I'd Lie - Taylor Swift

Invisible - Tylor Swift

Spray Paint

i just made stencils out of shoe boxes,

listened to some chill music,

spray painted some old used canvases,

gave my basement a fresh scent,

sewed a bag,

sewed my belt on as a strap,

thought about spray painting it,

changed my mind a little,

then posted about it.

Movement.

We're home now, honey, there's no reason to be afraid.

The lights are turning on, look at the bed that sister laid.

The windows are shut, the breeze will not bring fright,

And the doors are locked, they won't get in tonight.

My tainted scruples won't let me look you in the eyes.

My burning heart won't let me pass you by.

My lips that shake can only tell a lie.

And my cold feet will always make me say goodbye.

Tear stained bed,

Tears stain red.

Bruises stain blue,

And I'll always stain you.

My father made a fire,

burned up all potential.

I walked over to the ashes,

shadowed figures of credentials.

Everyday, everyday, sleeping in the sun,

my work here is never done.

It could be an illusion, but i might as well try

playlists and paintings.

cars on craigslist.

dillinger and dirty heads.

hand prints and hand shakes.

mcdonalds and the mannettes.

cameras and cold feet.

spilled water and shifting waves.

bags and boulders.

mac and cheese, money and checks.

windows and willows.

sun screen and sinking sand.

tampons and taxes.

flower pots and finger prints.

sunlight and sores.

cayenne and chaos.

einstein and ellio's.

alarm clocks and ant clusters.

lunch block and long beaches.

sticks 'n' stones, stolen 'n' sold.

even in the end, no one dies alone.

Here Goes Nothin'

you've lost your chance for the best of me.

whatever you get now is a shadow,

a legacy left by someone you used to know.

there must have been a moment,

a precise second that the wall fell down,

the window shattered.

im fading swiftly,

diminishing in front of your eyes.

time is almost up and im racing the clock.

and for what?

nothing worth this, i assume.

not one syllable left unsaid.

I really enjoyed this.

so im gonna elaborate on it.

I've always been the one walking away with more to say. I'm always the one who misunderstands and is left apologizing to the road you left on. My name is signed at the bottom of every thank-you letter left blowing in the wind. I have notebooks full of things i wish i could say to you. I have more regrets than i can count in one day. Nothing ever seems to make its way to film, paper or canvas. I know i cant change this over night, but I'm so goddamn done with this.

Let it be known, this was written with Fat Bottom Girls on repeat.

100th post!!

The rains falling hard, the thunders cracking loud.
The lighting illuminates my dark familiar room.
I'm keeping time with the thunder,
matching my strumming with the crashes.
I hope the rain that falls off my body
makes its way to you someday.
Stuck inside with Mary Pope Osborne.
Today's a good day for Lions at Lunchtime.