Hearing, Understanding, Or Ignoring?

The person who lives by their fears will not find freedom in my love. I am not talking about rational fears regarding legitimate dangers, but imagined fears, and especially the projection of those into the future. To the degree that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe I am good nor know deep in your heart that I love you. You sing about it; you talk about it, but you don’t know it.


yes, this is the general idea being screamed in my head all day long. the words are ordered as this in a book i have not read, The Shack. they were spoken to me just months before, by a voice i had barely recognized then. it was a voice that knew me little, but could read me like a book. i guess the things i thought i held so deep inside, were quickly seeping out my pores and dropping on the concrete like rain. they formed a puddle that i drown in and remain in. i've never known anything out side of this puddle and i don't know if my legs can stand without the water surrounding them. it's like the one thing that will be able to bring me down, i swim around in everyday because it's the only constant i've ever known. it's the only thing i can really depend on to be there and be stronger than me. i use it as a way to bring me back to reality, it used to be something i could control. but then, after thinking i shared this stregnth with the devil, he ripped it from my hands and i knew i never had the real power, ever. i took it from the one who could ever be able to save me, i took it to my own hands, who had offered themselves as a sacrifice, in a desprate attempt to be ANYTHING. and now i want to take them back, here is where i wish i was talking about tangable things, like bricks and hands or dirt. but no, this is something i cant see, its "believeing" maybe.. or it could just be me letting go, but i'm letting go of ideas and beliefs? i have no idea what that means, i dont think too much into this, honestly, i dont think enough. i think on a one-track mind, leading to a remote and abstract somewhere. i hate abstract, i want to separate all this into bags labled anything, and throw them into piles, weather to keep or to rid.