you were aware, you were stupid, now it all makes sense.

Doing something that you were aware has a certain, bad, harmful, heartbreaking, mood altering outcome is the most satisfying experience, even when you have to deal with the aforementioned consequences. im not saying that ALL consequences are worth the sick and twisted feeling of satisfaction, only attainable by risks you were stupid enough to take. But when you find the ones that are, you sure as hell better hold on tight, cause you'll come right back to it, harder, everytime you try to get away. you may see it as a guilty pleasure, but this is far more addicting than that. its a dirty crutch, a vice, if you will. i hear that everyone has one, but it took me a while to realize what mine is, now it all makes sense....to a point, of course. Do i think a crutch is necessary? only to the broken.